Observing The Logic In Our Emotions

I am a huge ball of emotions. A huge potent ball of emotions.

I research myself. I research myself by observing my emotions.

That is why I wrote once:
एहसासों की लड़ी है यह ज़िन्दगी
एक एक एहसास को सहेज कर, समेट कर,
धीरे धीरे आगे बढ़ती हूँ।
कमरा बिखरा रह जाता है।

Emotions have a lot of force. Observing them requires tremendous energy and concentration. Observing them means energy becomes unavailable to be invested in the physical space and the mental-work space.

There is clear logic in the world of emotions too. Because they are so powerful, because they exert so much force, it becomes tough to observe them. This makes the world conclude that emotions are illogical. However, this is not so. Just as in the physical space the magnitude and direction of multiple present forces determines the magnitude and direction of the final resultant force, so it is with feelings. Multiple feelings of different kinds (direction) of different intensities (magnitude and acceleration) can be present in a person at any given moment. They all move at a different pace. What a person will do at any given moment is determined by the combined result of all those emotional forces. It is a continuous process, occurring all the time, moving all the time, changing states all the time.

To observe emotions requires a willingness to give ourself up to them — while retaining awareness. Many a times some emotions are so strong they are like a wave lashing at the shore – one can clearly feel the land being eroded as a result of those waves. The emotion may not come and go like waves, but will be present with adamant force, all the time changing form in its threads of detail. When one deliberately and consciously chooses to remain in that state, one can feel the emotion lash at our being. However, we can choose to let it do that and see how things transpire on the basis of a subtle ever-present force in us called awareness. If we observe those emotions as a phenomena they can do nothing to the force called awareness.

Awareness is like the viewfinder of a camera, a peephole. As Dandapani expresses it, awareness is like a ball of light. We perceive the physical, mental, emotional world through this peephole. We illuminate areas of our mind using this ball of light. This gives us our own unique perspective of the world, the universe, our self.

It is possible to consciously move awareness from one area of the mind to another, or choose to consciously keep it at one place. When we are not aware of this power within us, this power called awareness rolls along on the topography of the mind as per whatever it encounters. Due to deep trenches having been formed in certain areas of the mind, the ball of awareness easily falls into certain areas of the mind repeatedly.

It is good to always be aware of where our awareness is – in the physical, mental, and emotional space. Being aware of where our awareness is keeps the power in our hands.

In general, as soon as we become aware that awareness is not in a pleasant space, it is good to consciously move it to a pleasant space. When I say pleasant or unpleasant space, I basically mean a pleasant or unpleasant emotional space. How to do that, how to find a pleasant space within ourself is a topic for another article.

However, at times awareness might be in a strong unpleasant emotional space and we might find it hard to move it from that space despite trying repeatedly, despite employing methods that have been successful before. We might feel locked in that unpleasant space.

At such times, it is good to remain in that unpleasant space and observe the force of emotions. Observe what is happening, how the forces are changing shape. And we will find, there is a clear cut logic and rationality to what is happening, how the multiple emotions are interacting with each other, what the objective of that seemingly-locked state is. The mental, emotional state clears up and somehow, our being aware of the dynamics of the emotions contributes to clearing up.

While we are observing that unpleasant emotion (and everything else that exists with it), we can also seek answers and guidance. Observing with awareness, and seeking answers with that approach enables us to receive answers more effectively. This also helps in processing the emotions and finding the learning within it.

If we remain unaware, then too, the state will seem to clear up after some time, the amplitude of unpleasant emotions will lessen, they will even seem to go away, other pleasant things and emotions will happen – however in actuality the unpleasant emotions will not have gone anywhere. They just go under the carpet to rise again sometime.

I am a huge ball of potent emotions. Many times I don’t do anything particularly – anything that is visible as something tangible to the external eye. Many times my energies are primarily invested in observing the emotions that are occuring inside me. I research my emotions. They are a largely unexplored phenomena of the universe, but an extremely potent and fascinating phenomena of the universe.

People have explored it before, and written about how to make a meaningful life out of what seems like a conundrum. Some were labelled yogis, some were labelled psychologists, philosophers, or artists. More people may explore the phenomena of emotions in their own way, and they may express their findings in whatever manner that may emerge from them. However, we still have to observe and understand our emotions ourself.

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