Last week I finished reading A Beautiful Mind. It is a biography of John Nash written by Sylvia Nasar. John Nash was a mathematician who made fundamental contributions to several fields of mathematics. His work in game theory has had a tremendous impact in economics. He was awarded the Nobel Prize in Economics in 1994. Thing is, from the age of 31 to 62 he was besieged by schizophrenia and lived a life thoroughly lost to the world.
This is an astounding story of redemption, so very competently crafted into a detailed, thoroughly-researched saga. I was filled with a deep sense of gratitude when I finished reading the book. So I had a tiny exchange with my boss –
You are beautiful. So kind and loving. इतना सुकून महसूस कर रही हूँ after having read John Nash’s biography. Thank You for putting the book in my hands. Thank You for restoring his life. Thank You for making him the way You made him. Thank You for giving him that self-awareness that he learned to say no to his delusional thoughts, thought by thought, each time they occurred. Thank You for mending his relationships — that he finally became a supportive husband and father, with his quirks. That he finally had a good relationship with his sister. Thank You for Alicia. Indeed there is only Your love that blossoms across the universe in different ways. Thank You to Princeton and the whole mathematics community that kept him, let him stay and wander its corridors through all his dark days. Thank You to USA that brought him back when he was insistent on becoming stateless — though I fully understand the purity of that thought, of wanting to become stateless.
Thank You for Sylvia Nasar, for having her write such an excellent biography, with such in-depth research, thorough references, no words minced — all things beautiful and ugly relayed as it happened, no candy-flossing — right down to all the behind-closed-doors drama of the prize decision, showing me how Your hand is there in everything that transpires. Those adjectives, beautiful and ugly, I have inserted them. She related the whole thing almost totally as a true journalist — not just what happened in the outside world, but also the inner dynamics of the brain, how it feels inside for the person dealing with such a condition. All the informational sections of what the research world in USA was like in the 1940s, 50s, the sharing of the mathematics in a manner that laymen may comprehend, how game-theory has impacted economics, including Al Gore’s auctioning of wavelengths right at the time when the Nobel was being awarded were also so valuable and gratifying to read. Thank You for all of that — though I skipped several pages in between.
Thank You for the pointers and takeaways of how I can live a better life. Filter out every thought of warring family members and the sense of being alone (because it is a delusion), and give my mind to You, for Your beauty to flow.
You are most welcome. It is all because I love you.
By the way, John Nash also invented a game called Hex. It is very easy to play. I played with my nephew Dhruv and he beat me at it. Dhruv and I both lost to the computer. See if you want to give it a try.